So far this year, this is the first letter of the alphabet I’ve struggled with. But while I was reading a friend’s blog, Choosing Childless, the word “important” jumped out at me.
“He alone is great and happy who requires neither to command nor to obey in order to secure his being of some importance in this world” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It can be hard to feel important, and to feel like your needs are as important as those around you. I speak for myself with this issue. I don’t just consider myself when making decisions; I also consider my husband and parents. Maybe even friends, depending on the decision. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that your wants and needs and opinions are just as valid and important as anyone else’s. Many people struggle with feeling selfish when they make decisions that primarily apply to them. My definition of selfish is: meeting your own needs at the expense of others. If you’re simply meeting your needs at no one’s expense, it’s not selfish; it might even be self-care. It’s an interesting paradox. If you don’t work yourself to death, you’re not dedicated. If you don’t wear yourself out meeting the needs of others, you don’t care. When did not caring for oneself become the standard? Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t care for others and shouldn’t view others as important too, but when did they start becoming more important? I’m a huge proponent of good boundaries, those limits you set to protect yourself: physically, spiritually, and mentally. Good boundaries just boil down to treating yourself like you’re just as important as anyone else. There’s only one you. Treat you like you matter.
“In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” -Author Unknown