I wanted to talk to you about our relationship. When I agreed to leave Arizona for you, you were hot. Not as hot as Arizona, but your other assets made me think that it would be okay. At first, things were really good, but then you started running warm and cold. Last Saturday, we were outside together all day, and it was beautiful. Just a few days later though, you were so cold to me that I didn’t want to go outside. You really made me feel like you didn’t want me around.
Meanwhile, Arizona is as predictable as ever. Yes, I’ve continued seeing Arizona, but you have to understand, we have a history together. Just because I visit doesn’t mean I don’t want our relationship to work. I do, but you have to work with me here. If I only knew what to expect, if you weren’t so moody, I’d feel better.
I mean, it’s not like you’re Pennsylvania. That is one cold beotch right there.
I’m not saying you have to be hot all the time. I love you even when you let yourself go a little over the winter. The grass needs a trim and the leaves are mostly gone on the trees. I’m okay with that; I gained a few pounds over the holidays. Just… I’d like to know where I stand.
Is that too much to ask?