On Wellness Wednesdays, I post about a topic related to wellness.
“I have learned silence form the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind, yet strange, I am ungrateful for those teachers.”
I believe that we’re all presented with the same lesson in life, over and over, until we learn it. People and situations may annoy or upset us, but the truth is that everything can be a learning experience.
It’s difficult because we don’t get letter grades for these experiences. No one marks up our experience with a red pen, showing us exactly what we need to improve. Instead, we have to figure it out.
The best way to figure out how you’re doing in learning about something in particular is by how it makes you feel. If it upsets, angers, frustrates, or makes you afraid, you may have more to learn from it. The more intensely you feel, the more important the lesson.
People who won’t shut up irritate me. They talk and talk, repeating themselves, and usually end up saying very little. I recently had yet another encounter with one of these individuals. He was a member of my writer’s critique group, and he gave good feedback, but it was buried within a speech to rival the length of War and Peace. I tried to let him know, gently, that it was difficult for me to hear what he was trying to tell me when he repeated the same thing over and over. I think I hurt his feelings, and soon after, he dropped out of the group. I still feel bad about that, wondering if what I said made him want to leave.
I have two lessons to learn here. I’m honestly not sure what the first lesson is; I’m still trying to figure it out. Perhaps that I need to listen, even when I don’t want to? Or perhaps how to give better feedback? The second lesson is most definitely that the world doesn’t revolve around me, and if he chose to drop out of group, that was his choice, and I didn’t “cause” it.
If I insulted him, he could have spoken to me about it. He could have ignored me or told me to go to hell. I’m not responsible for the choices he made, and likely his choice to leave group didn’t have anything to do with me at all.
What lessons are you still working through?