How To Accomplish Computer Work When You Have Cats

The old stereotype about cats is that they’re antisocial and look at their human servants with scorn.

Where are those cats? Who owns them?

We have six cats and two dogs. Go ahead; judge me. I’ve fully embraced crazy cat lady status at this point. (I used to argue that I wasn’t because we were a blended kitty household and then inherited two. But after we lost 5 of our original 6 yet still have 6, it’s obviously a choice now.)

Anyway, so I have lots of pets. Of the 8, right now, four are where I can see them. I suspect that Pepper is here, sleeping under the blanket on the chair (as she usually is when I’m in my office.) One cat is literally on my feet, and another is next to my feet. But just a few minutes ago, there was a cat walking on my keyboard, exploring all the fun stuff on my very messy desk. It’s not uncommon for Phantom and Pepper to sit in front of the screen and bat at my cursor, hoping I’ll put on the bird channel on YouTube.

So I’ve had a lot of time to ponder how to get work done and still have friendly cats. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

Step 1: Try to get the cat to move. Cuddle it. Coax it. Pet it. It will still go back to what it was doing, but you can pretend you have some control over the situation.

Step 2: Put comfortable cat beds near you, hoping to entice them away from the front of your screen. Sometimes it will work. But not until they’ve typed iahruzzr758gfrfcuhAEFR in the middle of the document you were working on.

Step 3: Pet the cat some more. Pretend you’re going to be able to accomplish work soon.

Step 4: Pick up a book to read so that at least you can pretend you’re doing something productive. The cat will bat at the book and possibly sit on it.

Step 5: Give up. Surrender to petting the cat. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get nothing done for the rest of the day. Really feel it and know it.

Step 6: Only after you’ve given up will the cat go away. But by then, you’ve forgotten what you were doing. Or the dogs need to go out. Or the other cats demand food. (They haven’t eaten in three hours and are STARVING.)

Step 7: Mutter a lot about the annoying little furballs as you go back to your desk and start over.

Step 8: Repeat steps 1-7.

Show of hands: whose cats are antisocial, and whose are all up in their business all the time?

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