Judging Your Book Choices

I was on Twitter the other day, and someone asked the question, “If you were on a first date with someone and asked them what their favorite book was, what would be a dealbreaker?”

I read through the comments, because that’s what I do. I was surprised by how judgemental people were. Some of the popular ones for women were: Infinite Jest, anything Ayn Rand, Lolita, Catcher in the Rye. For men, they were things like Eat, Pray, Love, Twilight, and 50 Shades of Gray.

When did we all become so willing to judge people based on a single metric? Like, I can understand if someone named Lolita as their favorite book, and then said, “I thought the relationship between Lolita and Hubert Humphrey was inspirational and healthy,” then okay, I can understand why you’d nope out.

But the book is considered a classic. (Full disclosure: I haven’t read it.) What if someone started talking about it being their favorite book based on literary merit? Would that change things?

I’m honestly distressed by this trend of judging people based on a single metric of opinion, and I’m really over people being judged based on their book choices.

We like what we like, and there’s a huge difference between behavior and opinion. People hold opinions for a lot of different reasons. I’m not going to judge you based on your book choices or your clothes choices or even who you voted for. I will judge you based on how you talk to the waitress who just took our order and how you treat my other friends (even if you don’t like them) and how you react when I tell you something important to me.

I’m always puzzled when I read articles talking about how most readers have a favorite book, and then a fake favorite book that they tell people about so that others judge them differently. The first time I read that, I thought, “Is this a thing? Why is this a thing?” But now I get it. If people are judging based on your reading material, then it makes sense that people might want to pretend.

I’m always curious why people love a book I hated, but I’d never judge someone for it. Tastes are different, and I like learning about other people through their entertainment choices. There are so many books out there that aren’t for me, but that doesn’t automatically make the person reading them into someone I wouldn’t like. Learn to get along with lots of different people, and I guarantee, life will be happier.

And don’t judge other people based on their choices, when those choices hurt literally no one. Just don’t.

What’s your favorite book(s)? Do you judge others based on their book choices? If so, help me understand why.

 

 

How I Rate Books on Goodreads

I was looking at the books I’ve read on Goodreads the other day, and I realized that my feed is a sea of 3, 4, and 5 star ratings. It gave me pause as I wondered if I’m too easily entertained.

Goodreads suggests the following ratings:

5 stars: It was amazing.

4 stars: I really liked it.

3 stars: I liked it.

2 stars: It was okay.

1 stars: Did not like it.

And then it hit me… if I’ve finished a book, I at least liked it enough to give it 2.5 stars, which rounds up to 3. Anything below that, I don’t finish. In rare cases, I may hold out hope that the book will improve, or if I really like the author, I may give them way more of a chance than I would a relatively unknown.

That being said, I most often read two and one star reviews on Goodreads to see if I think I’ll like the book. Often, the negative reviews are more helpful for me in choosing a book than the positive ones.

If the flaws are something I can live with, I go for it. If I think those flaws will irritate me as much as the rater, I’m out.

Do you follow a rating system for books? Is it different than the one Goodread’s suggests?

A to Z Reflections 2018 #atozchallenge

 

Another year of A to Z is over. I successfully completed my 8th year of A to Z!

As usual, it was fun (and stressful). And every year, I get a little bit more organized. Progress, right?

This year, I picked my theme way ahead of time and started brainstorming books I could use. I didn’t write any of my posts ahead of time, and though I didn’t always get my post up in the morning, without fail, I got my posts up on the correct day. (That’s two years in a row of a perfect score!)

What I’d Do Differently Next Year

I probably say it every year, but next year, I’d really like to finish my posts early. I don’t know how well this will work though, since I really do my best work at the last minute. I’ve never been one of those people who can do work in advance, then leave well enough alone.

What I Did Well

I visited at least 5 other blogs every day and left comments. There were days this was more difficult than others, but I feel that since we’re all a community, we need to support one another. I found other great blogs, which is always fun.

I’m rather proud of my pictures this year. I had fun using text and filters to make my stack of books more visually interesting.

 

I always have mixed feelings when April is over. On one hand, I’m glad to take a break from daily blog posts. On the other, it’s fun to write to a theme and take daily pictures.

Thank you, sincerely, to everyone who stopped by, read, and/or commented on my blog. It means a lot to me.

If there’s a theme you’d be interested in seeing me write about for 2019, feel free to drop a comment or send me an email anytime.

 

 

 

The Stupidest Thing I’ve Ever Said

My husband and I enjoy going to the movies. We didn’t always. Once upon a time, we went to movie theaters with annoying children running around during a midnight showing of The Omen (true story).

Don’t take this to mean I hate kids. I like them. During the noontime showing of Beauty and the Beast. But if I’m going to see an R-rated movie, or anything after 7 p.m., I expect my movie to be a kid-free zone.

Sorry, I totally went on a tangent there.

Anyway, we like going to the Alamo Drafthouse, which has a no talking policy. During the previews for a good movie we saw, I happened to see a preview for Annihilation. After the movie (because no talking during!), I mentioned to my husband that I’d read the book and didn’t like it, but… wait for it… here comes the stupidest thing I’ve ever said…

“Maybe the movie will be better.”

I actually said that. Out loud. I was serious.

A friend and I had read (and hated) the book together.

Before I start bashing the movie (and I will bash it), I have to say that I actually enjoyed the first 75-90% of the book. It was interesting, well-done science-fiction. No spoilers, but it’s the ending that was awful. It was one of those non-endings. It made me feel like it was specifically designed to make me read the sequels, but it had the opposite effect.

So, there was only one major flaw with the book, in my opinion, and I hoped Hollywood would fix it.

I know, I know. I’ve already admitted this was the stupidest thing I’ve ever said. No need to rub it in.

They didn’t. They took the basic premise and turned it into a different movie. I read the book awhile ago, but I only recognized some basics. The rest was different. There were some lovely visual effects, but even they didn’t make up for the lack of a coherent plot, an ending that was just as unsatisfying (but in a different way) as the one in the book, and more of a jump-scare horror than science-fiction. (I don’t like jump-scare horror unless it’s actually a B movie and I can find it hilarious. There’s nothing scary about things jumping out at you.) Oh, and the soundtrack gave me a headache. My husband described it as “un-anesthatized cat vivisection.”

Have you seen it or read this book? What did you think?

Saving the End Until Later

Recently, when I was re-watching Battlestar Galactica, a main character talked about his favorite book, and how he doesn’t know how it ends because he never finished it. His argument is that he loves the book so much that he never wanted it to end.

Um… say what?

There are a lot of bookish habits I find odd, but this one is almost incomprehensible. I can honestly say it never occurred to me to not finish a book I love. When I don’t finish a book, it’s because it’s so awful that I just can’t.

When I love a book, it’s hard for me to put it down. I race to finish it. I don’t want to do anything but read that book. For me, it’s like being in love. Sometimes I read so quickly that when I get to the end, I start over again so I can enjoy it at a more leisurely pace.

I’m not sure that I could stop reading an excellent book (especially a favorite) if I tried. I’d be thinking about it, dreaming about it, creating my own endings. And anything I could come up with probably wouldn’t be as good as what the author could come up with.

I wonder if this was just a weird character trait that someone picked because it seemed interesting, or if people actually do this.

Have you ever done this or heard of this? Are you a savor-er or a gulper?

10 Reasons I Love Happy Endings

This post applies to all book types EXCEPT horror. I’m fine with everyone being dead at the end of a horror book/ movie.

1. I read to take a break from real life. While I don’t mind a good depressing book, life is difficult enough without reality intruding in my entertainment. A lot of bad things happen in real life, and we can’t always count on them ending well. It’s important that books end on a hopeful note.
2. When I live with a character in my head for several hundred pages, I want good things to happen for them. I start to enjoy spending time with a character as if they were my friend. Therefore, I prefer that things work out for them.
3. Sad endings can make me introspective, but happy endings are uplifting. When I’ve read a book with a roller coaster ride between the pages and then a happy ending that feels right (not forced), it can make me feel cheerful the rest of the day.
4. I believe that most problems have solutions. What I mean by that is that often when there’s a depressing ending, it happens, not exclusively because of circumstance, but also because of people’s choices. I like it when a character engages in problem solving to find a solution to a problem, and I think it sets an excellent example for readers.
5. I believe that people can be happy in spite of circumstances. What do lottery winners have in common with paralyzed accident victims? This is not a joke.  ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… One year after the incident, they both tend to return to baseline levels of happiness. When a book has a happy ending despite bad things that happen, it means that people can triumph over anything. Happiness has to do with the individual, not the circumstances.
6. They combat the negativity that seems to get the most airtime. I can’t get on social media without seeing something about some celebrity feud, someone complaining that someone is talking about them behind their back, arguing over politics. And don’t even get me started on the news. Ugh. If we believe the information we’re inundated with, we’re all the wrong shape or size, everyone is mean and wouldn’t give a glass of water to a dying man, and if you’re not “with” my politician, it must mean you hate me and everything I stand for. I don’t believe any of that BS. It’s nice to read about relationships working out, people talking through their differences, and people lending helping hands. It’s even nice to occasionally read about people discussing politics without creating Hatfield/ McCoy feuds.
7. Hope matters. For those of you who don’t know about 13 Reasons Why, it’s a book about a girl who leaves a tape behind to be passed to the thirteen people she feels contributed to her suicide. It’s both a book and later became a Netflix series. It was under controversy because many teens cited the book as triggering them to attempt (or in some cases, tragically complete) suicide. If books can have such a negative impact, why can’t they also have positive ones?
8. Happy does not equal shallow. I think that sometimes people equate depressing books with emotional richness and thought provoking, while dismissing books with happy endings. Do you know how much harder it is to be positive than to be negative? Try it sometime. Go forth in the world with a smile and a kind word for everyone, and see how difficult it can be. I love books that put a character through a difficult struggle and end up deserving the happy ending.
9. Heroes should always triumph over villains. If we don’t believe that the light side of the force will always ultimately triumph over the dark side, then what’s the point? Maybe good doesn’t always triumph over evil in real life, but it should. Maybe the detective doesn’t always catch the murderer or find the kidnapping victim in real life, but he should.
10. I want to feel like there’s a point. When I read a book that’s depressing for hundreds of pages, and then ends on a bleak note, I often feel like, “Well, what was the point of that?” We all know that bad things happen and that sometimes people never recover. It seems meaningless. When I see people suffer for hundreds of pages but ultimately triumph, I often feel like, “Wow, that person didn’t let anything stop them from reaching their goal.” When I did therapy, I used to ask my groups a question: What’s the difference between success and failure? There’s only one difference… the successful people never quit. If you try something 1,000 times, fail 999 of those times but only succeed once, people will call you a success. I like books that show that.

What do you think? Do you prefer happy endings or endings when things don’t work out? Do you agree or disagree with any of my reasoning?

My Book Wishlist Solution

There are always books I want that I’m not going to buy or borrow right away. Sometimes (usually) it’s because I already have a million books stacked up, staring accusingly at me. Sometimes it’s because I’m trying to complete a goal, and the book I want doesn’t meet that goal. Sometimes it’s just because I’m out somewhere and someone whose opinion I value has recommended a book to me.

I tried keeping track of them in my head, but apparently there’s only so much room up there.

I used to just keep a list of books in the notes section of my phone. I listed title and maybe author (if I knew it).

The list quickly spiraled out of control. I ended up with a list I couldn’t keep track of, no rhyme or reason to it. If I went to a bookstore or the library, I didn’t have a good way of sorting the list.

I got a now defunct app for my phone. I never loved that app. It was cumbersome to use, having to do multiple button pushes to add a book. And I had to add a book in a different section from books that were already on my list. If there was a way to sort them, I never figured it out. They were just there in the order I added them. Then one day, I couldn’t use the app anymore, and my wishlist had disappeared.

I’ve tried using the library’s and Amazon’s wishlist functions, but I end up not liking them because I have to log into a website. I want something quick and at my fingertips.

I have a digital list of all the books I own. It’s lovely; I can just scan them in either via barcode or manually enter them. I just recently noticed that the Sort It! app has a wishlist function as well.

I tried it, and I think this is the solution for me. It shows pictures of the books and is easy to use. I can sort by author, title, or publication date. It’s easy to add or delete books from the list. If you’re looking for a way to keep track of books you own or want to own/ read, I highly recommend Sort It! (There’s also versions for DVDs, music, etc.)

How do you keep track of your reading wishlist?

Backwards Bookshelves… Why??

Have you heard about the latest trend? Backwards bookshelves. It’s where you take your lovely books and turn them around so the spine doesn’t show.

Some proponents of the idea say it’s “simple” and “clean” and “beautiful.”

I say it doesn’t make sense.

I’m a practical person. I like using items for the purpose for which they were intended. I sit in chairs. I eat with forks. And I read books.

I’m not saying these items can never be used in a decorative or interesting way. But turning books backwards seems to relegate them solely to a decorative purpose. And that makes my heart sad.

The whole reason I love my bookshelves is so that my books are displayed and I can find what I want. When I’m not sure what I want to read, I browse the shelves, looking at the interesting spines with their multitude of shapes, colors, and the continuum of wear.

Turning them the other way washes out their individuality. Each book could be the same as the one beside it.

Decorator trends are best left in magazines.

I’m going to keep my books right side out.

Would you ever do this?

20 Books of Summer- Successes and Failures

I loved the idea of setting a goal to read 20 books from my shelves in a set period of time. I’ve been wanting strategies to cull books that I don’t really want, and my “well, I’ll get around to seeing if I want to read that eventually” doesn’t work.

What I Read

1. The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass, by Phillip Pullman I really enjoyed these, though I thought they got better as the series progressed.
2. Roseblood, by AG Howard I didn’t really like this one. I kept hoping it would get better, but it wasn’t my taste.
3. Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett This one was sent to my by a friend, and I kept meaning to get to it, but just never did. I loved it.
4. The Couple Next Door by Shari Lapena It was a mystery/ thriller that just fell flat for me.
5. The Mouse and The Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary This was chosen by a friend for our Popsugar challenge, for a “book set in a hotel.” It was a delightful kids’ book, and a nice break from so much meh.
6. The Unseen (Books 1-4) by Richie Tankersley Cusick I blogged about this series here, and ranted about it on Goodreads, but suffice it to say, I was not a fan.
7. Tweak: Growing up on methamphetamine, by Nic Sheff I ended up listening to it on audiobook, and it was a good memoir about addiction and recovery.
8. Wish Girl, by Nikki Loftin I actually bought this book because I met the author at the local SCBWI conference. It was a sweet story and an easy read.
9. The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton I’m about halfway through this one, and enjoying it. A friend sent it to me after I reread The Secret Garden and talked about how much I’d loved it.

The Good

1. I read 14 books from my list (and am working on 15), and got rid of more than that. I tried (and abandoned) Wicked. I’ve completed one other Gregory Maguire book and hated it. That meant that all of his books went into the donate box, guilt free. (And I had quite a few of them… I don’t remember where I got them.)
2. I felt a sense of accomplishment, getting through so many books. It’s always nice to set a goal and work toward it, even if I didn’t quite meet it.

The Bad

1. I hated reading from a pre-set list. I picked 20 books plus 5 alternates, and I struggled with them. I ended up reading 5 books in a row that I didn’t like, but I wasn’t ready to abandon. I wanted to pick something for my next book that I was a little more sure I’d like, but it wasn’t anything on the pre-picked list.
2. When I started this, I didn’t know it was going to be a stressful summer for me. That meant that it was especially important for me to read things I enjoyed. Reading 5 books in a row I didn’t like was discouraging and made me want to stop reading off the list.

The Verdict

I’m going to set a quarterly goal of books to read off my shelf, but I’m not going to pre-pick them. That way, I can read whatever I’m in the mood for, but still cull my shelves, making room for new books.

Did you participate in 20 Books of Summer (or a different reading goal)? How’d you do? What do you think of reading challenges in general?

My Reading Habits

This was a fun little quiz I found online.

READING HABITS

1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading?  Not really. I’ll read anywhere I can see the page. That includes while sitting, standing, walking, playing with the dogs, cooking, eating, etc.

2. Bookmark or random piece of paper?  Anything that’s at hand. Receipts, fortunes from fortune cookies, post-its, random papers. I do have bookmarks though. I just mostly misplace them. Or leave them in the book when I’m done.

3. Can you just stop reading or do you have to stop after a chapter?  If I love the book, stopping anywhere is hard, but I can make myself do it at the end of a chapter. If I’m not as into it, I can stop anywhere.

4. Do you eat or drink while reading?  Um, yes. Reading is life.

5. Multitasking: Music or TV while reading?  Sort of. If I’m really into the book, I hear nothing that’s going on around me. I’m not usually watching the TV though; that’s my husband.

6. One book at a time or several at once?  It depends. If I’m not that into the book, I might start another one at the same time. But if I’m really into it, I have trouble even putting it down.

7. Reading at home or everywhere? One time, a coworker told everyone she saw me reading while I was crossing the street. In fairness, it wasn’t like a busy street or anything.

8. Reading out loud or silently in your head?  Silently. Shhh!

9. Do you read ahead or skip pages?  No! Who even does that? (I might look ahead to see where the chapter ends, but I’m not reading it.)

10. Breaking the spine or keeping it like new?  Break it! Wear marks = love.

11. Do you write in your books?  Yes! I write, highlight. I don’t worry about smudges or marks. Again, imperfections are signs of affection in my book. (See what I did there?)

BONUS QUESTIONS

1. When do you find yourself reading? Morning, afternoon, evening, when you get a chance or all the time?  Reading is life.

2. What is your best setting to read in?  A setting where no one is attempting to talk to me. Getting arrested because I murdered the person who wouldn’t stop talking to me would really slow down my reading.

3. What do you do first – Read or Watch?  In general, I prefer to read first. But I’ve been introduced to some really great books by watching a show or movie and seeing that there’s a book.

4. What form do you prefer? Audiobook, eBook, or phsyical book?  I prefer a physical book, but I’ll go for an eBook if I need a quick fix. Or if I’m on vacation and don’t want to carry 8,000 pounds of books with me. I just started reading audiobooks, and they’re pretty cool. I can read while doing chores or driving.

5. Do you have a unique habit when you read?  Is getting covered in cats unique?

6. Do book series have to match?  I really prefer it, but I’m not going to stress if they don’t.

 

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