My 10 Most Popular Posts of 2017 and My Plan for 2018

I got a lot of new subscribers in 2017, which was nice. (I know you’re there, even if you’re not talking… come join the conversation!)

2017 was a year I tried to settle into a groove with blogging. In previous years, I tried to do daily (which was way too much) and other times when I had no schedule. In 2017, I tried to post on Tuesdays and Fridays. For 2018, I’m going to go back to a Monday/ Wednesday/ Friday format. Because of the interest in book challenges, I’m going to try to check in once a week with what I’m reading and my progress on various challenges. Starting next week, that will be on Mondays. (Happy New Year, BTW!)

Most of the popular posts from this list are from 2017, but some are older (some much older). Without further ado, my top 10 from this year…

1. 11 Best Non-Fiction Books About Mental Illness You have no idea how happy I am to see this at #1. People are becoming more interested in mental illness, and I think that’s a wonderful step toward conversation and destigmatizing what so many people struggle with.
2. 10 Best Novels from Over 100 Years Ago This post is from 2011 and has consistently been one of my most popular posts. It’s a little sparse, back when I just made lists but didn’t consistently post pictures or say anything about the books. But… I guess that’s what Amazon is for?
3. What Bullying Looks Like as An Adult Again, another post I’m happy to see as popular. We really, really need to stop telling children no to be bullies and then turn around and do it ourselves. Take a look to see the subtle ways you might be participating in bullying.
4. Don’t Ban Eleanor & Park A post from 2016. I’m so against book banning. I think that any book that really speaks to someone is going to make someone else mad, and that’s okay. Kids need books like these. Eleanor & Park is a book I wish had been around when I was in high school
5. Book Challenges 2018 A very recent post, but it just goes to show how interested in book challenges people are becoming. I’m going to try to be better about posting updates on my progress next year. Join me and feel free to update me on your progress too!
6. Open Letter to the Writer Who Left My Writer’s Group You know, I almost didn’t write this post. I hate that I may have contributed to discouraging another writer. But it wasn’t done out of a spirit of meanness, and I think that it’s important to admit to my mistakes so I can become a better person. None of us are perfect. And even though the writer who this letter was intended for will probably never see it, maybe someone else who needs to see it will.
7. 5 Things Not to Say to a Writer This post is from 2013, and I remember what made me write it. I was still working at crisis back then. We had some down time and were sitting around. I was working on a story and started bouncing ideas off my Arizona bestie, who is not a writer. He pretty much said everything on this list, and it made me crazy. When I showed him the blog post, he laughed.
8. Promoting Kindness This post was inspired by all the vitriol I see (even among friends) over differing opinions regarding politics.
9. 10 Best Fiction Books About Mental Illness I love that more people are trying to write characters with mental illnesses; I just prefer that people get it right. Exposure to fiction is known to increase empathy, so reading about characters with mental illness definitely can promote understanding and reduce fear of these disorders.
10. The Pros and Cons of Writing in Coffee Shops Spoiler alert… it’s not my thing!

Doing a very scientific analysis, it seems that my most popular posts are lists of books and more personal type posts. I’ll try to keep that in mind as I’m brainstorming topics next year.

Are there any topics you’d like to see me write about? Any topics you’d like less of? I’m always open to suggestions, so feel free to comment on this (or any post) or email me at doreeweller@gmail.com.

Thanks for coming along for the ride that was 2017 for me! I’m hoping that 2018 will be even better.

Should Fiction Be Safe?

In his book, Trigger Warning, Neil Gaiman asked the question, “Should fiction be safe?”

Now that trigger warnings have escaped the internet, he wondered if they’re going to move over into fiction. He talked about reading books he wasn’t ready for, how they scared him and made him think. But that as an adult, he’s glad he read them when he did.

It made me ponder that question he asked. Should fiction be a safe place?

First, what is the purpose of reading? Entertainment? To increase empathy? To broaden one’s mind? To travel to places and times the reader has never been?

Second, what would be the purpose of a trigger warning in a book? In my mind, it would be to shield the reader from material that could cause potential emotional distress.

My Experiences Growing Up Reading Everything

Before I address the first and second point, I’d like to say that my parents weren’t readers, and as such, never told me I couldn’t read anything. I read Watchers (which has some explicit sex scenes) at 12. I read all of Thomas Harris’s and many of Stephen King’s books when I was a young teenager. I also read romances and middle grade books and young adult books and science fiction books… basically, if it was fiction, I read it.

There were some books I wasn’t emotionally ready for. I skipped over sex scenes in books when I wasn’t interested. Some drug references went over my head. Violence in books sometimes made me afraid to go out at night. I remember reading a particularly graphic sex scene in a book about a serial killer. Though the violence was no problem, the sex grossed me out, and I abandoned the book.

I’m not a sex fiend or violent now. I’m an incurable optimist with a streak of dark humor. Nothing grosses me out, and very little bothers me. I have thick skin and lots of concern about the suffering of others.

Should I have been allowed to read anything? Well, my answer is yes. I like the way I turned out. 🙂 Maybe that permissive reading style isn’t right for everyone, but it worked for me.

I say all this so that when I talk about whether or not fiction should be safe, you understand my frame of reference. Everyone is going to have different experiences which shape them.

What is the Purpose of Reading?

To answer the first question, to me, fiction is all of those things. Sometimes I want a book purely for entertainment. When I do, I might look for a Nora Roberts/ JD Robb book. I might ask my friends for recommendations. I might go to Goodreads or just look on my ever-lengthening TBR or wishlist and look for something that seems light.

All books help to increase empathy and broaden one’s mind, but if I’m looking for something specific, I might go for something that explores a current issue from a fiction point of view, like The Hate U Give, by Angie Thomas, or something more classic, like Lord of the Flies, by William Golding.

When I’m looking to travel, the Outlander series is a wonderful way to go.

What I’ve Learned From Books

When I read something that’s difficult, like The Hate U Give, I’m pushed outside myself. I’m inside the head of a narrator and shown something different from the life I live. Those books are not “safe.” They test our empathy and proclaim, in no uncertain terms, “Bad things can happen to anyone.”

When I read a book like Watchers, by Dean Koontz it makes me consider what our moral responsibility is to the world around us, and what, as humans, is our place in this world.

When I read a book like You, by Caroline Kepnes, it makes me think about the information that I put on social media.

When I read a book like The Sun is Also a Star, by Nicola Yoon, it makes me realize how privileged and lucky I really am. And how much little things I say and do can affect others in the world around me.

One of my best friends always says, “Everyone I come across has something to teach me. It’s my job to find the lesson.”

In the same way, every book I read has something to teach me. Am I paying attention?

Should Fiction Be Safe?

I would argue that it shouldn’t be.

There is no safe place. Not in the fiction world, not in the real world.

There is always going to be something that will scare me, but not someone else. Something that might not upset me, but might upset someone. I love books that distress me. That means that something resonated with me emotionally. Those are the books I think about and want to discuss. Even if I disagree. Maybe especially if I don’t agree.

Sometimes those books make me feel a little sick. Sometimes they creep into my dreams or make it hard to fall asleep. Sometimes they make the world seem like a scary place.

But they also make me feel fully alive.

All The Ugly and Wonderful Things, by Bryn Greenwood, got either 5 star ratings or 1 star ratings on Goodreads. Why? It’s a disturbing and belief-shaking book. It asks questions that aren’t okay in polite company.

I had absolutely no idea what the book was about going into it, and if I had, I probably wouldn’t have read it. Based on my beliefs, I would have said I wasn’t interested.

I am so thankful that I got a copy of the book without knowing anything about it ahead of time. It’s one of my all time favorite books. I love everything about it, but my favorite thing is that it made me question something I “knew” to be true. I had to re-evaluate my beliefs.

It is very easy to believe something. It’s not easy to evaluate those beliefs and allow for new information. That doesn’t mean you have to change your mind. But any belief worth having is worth critically thinking about all sides.

Really good books make that possible.

I never know ahead of time which books are going to shake my foundations. For me, that’s the fun of it.

So, my reader friend, I ask you: should fiction be safe?

Can’t We Agree To Disagree on This Election?

This is the expression on my face when I watch other people take political discussions personally.

I have my own thoughts on the upcoming US Presidential election, and since this isn’t a political blog, I’m not going to talk about them.  What I did want to talk about was a trend that’s disturbing me among my Facebook friends.

Some people are posting support for one candidate or another in the upcoming elections, and responses to those posts have been varied.  But far more often, I’ve seen people posting opposition to one candidate or another.  Instead of saying, “I support A,” people are saying, “You shouldn’t support A.  They’re a (fill in derogatory term).”

Recently, one of my friends posted something like this, and one of the responses was that this election has been the most polarizing election they remember.  My friend, without a trace of irony, said something like, “Yeah, I’ve had to unfriend a number of people for their views.”

People… let’s agree to disagree on the candidates.  There are very few people (I’ve seen) who are offering unqualified support of either candidate.  Most people are choosing what they view as the lesser of two evils.  Why are we going to argue about that?  Supporting one candidate over another doesn’t mean you support racism, sexism, lying, conspiracy theories, or whatever it is the opposition says that candidate is all about.  Supporting one candidate over another means you have your reasons, and that’s all I need to know.

I have gotten into political debates/ discussions with some people.  But only in person, with people I feel safe voicing my opinions with.  In a public forum like Facebook, I think there’s too much room for misunderstanding and hard feelings.  It’s unlikely I’m going to change anyone’s mind about their choice, so in this particular case, I’m not going to try.

It’s easy and tempting to believe that others aren’t as informed or haven’t thought it through the way I have.  That’s probably not true though.  Others value some issues more than others, just as I do.  And we’re all different.

Let’s rise above the political candidates and stop the name calling.  Let’s stop getting angry with people because they disagree on our views.  If you must get into a political discussion, please be respectful of the other person’s views, even if you don’t agree with them.  Let’s thank others for the lively discussions that may ensue.  And above all, let’s be grateful that we live in a country where it’s okay to publicly criticize candidates, and that others can do so too.

In Fahrenheit 451, Bradbury discusses how censorship started by certain interest groups demanding that things that offended them be taken out, until there was nothing left.  Let’s not encourage censorship by demeaning the opinions of others.

Let’s just agree to disagree.  And be grateful that we can.

Words Have Power

For Banned Books Week this week, I’ve been reading up on why books get challenged and banned.  I made myself a fun little project, where I went through many of the challenged books I have on my shelf and tagged them with Post-its as to why.

First off, when we talk about challenged and banned books, we’re usually talking about from schools.  Mostly middle schools and high schools.  There are some extremists who try to get books banned from public libraries or taken off the shelf at bookstores, but those  challenges are less common.

Why do people want to ban books?  It seems like the people who want to ban books recognize the power of words, and they’re afraid of that power.  Words lead to thought, which lead to ideas, which lead to challenging, questioning, and often disagreeing with the status quo.

Give the people contests they win by remembering the words to more popular songs or the names of state capitals or how much corn Iowa grew last year.  Cram them full of noncombustible data, chock them so damn full of ‘facts’ they feel stuffed, but absolutely ‘brilliant’ with information.  Then they’ll feel they’re thinking, they’ll get a sense of motion without moving.  And they’ll be happy, because facts of that sort don’t change.  Don’t give them any slippery stuff like psychology or sociology to tie things up with.

-From Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury

So why don’t some people want others (but especially kids) to think?  I believe it’s for a few reasons.

First, book banners believe that they know the “right” way to live, and don’t want to offer alternatives.  Some people believe that the only thing that stops others from making bad choices is prevention from there being a choice.  They cloak kids in misinformation and deception, saying it’s for their own good.  We know it doesn’t work.  When abstinence is the only option, kids get pregnant.  When we lie and say all drugs (even marijuana) will kill you, then we lose our credibility when we say that spice and bath salts are actually really dangerous.

Second, thinking kids are questioning kids.  Teens are already rebellious.  They talk back, they annoy, and they think they know it all.  Why add fuel to that fire?  In my mind, that’s the time to add fuel to that particular fire, before it’s all burned out and ashes going cold.  Teenagers are looking for their place in the world.  Help them learn to think before they become mindless adults.  They’re already worried about the upcoming zombie apocalypse, and in some ways they ‘re probably aware that it’s already here.

Third, denial.  If we deny that bad language, sexual behaviors, violence, and racism exist, then it won’t.  Oh, if only it were that easy!  Taxes would have ceased to exist years ago.  Along with traffic and those people who take 20 minutes to special order coffee at Starbucks.

Denial doesn’t work.

Thinking, arguing, discoursing work.  Where do you stand on book banning?  What’s your favorite banned book?

Banned Books Week!

This week, September 25- October 1, is banned books week.

There are a lot of reasons books get banned, but what it all boils down to is that something offends someone.  Usually they’re big themes, like language, sexuality, racial or ethnic tensions, violence, religion, or addiction.  But the one thing that all banned books have in common is that someone, somewhere, found value in what the author had to say.

I’m anti-censorship.  I think that the only kind of censorship that should exist is personal censorship.  By that, I mean that if you don’t want to read it (or don’t want your minor children to read it), then don’t.  Most schools, even if a books is assigned, will allow a child to read an alternate if their parent objects.  But don’t negate my reality, or what I want to learn about the world, by demanding it be pulled out of schools, taken off the shelf at libraries, unwelcome in a bookstore.

Provocative themes make us think.  They expand the world, get us talking.

I haven’t liked every book I’ve ever read.  Some of them have even offended me.  But that doesn’t mean I want to control someone else’s exposure to it.  In reality, we’re more and more exposed to all kinds of themes and content.  On the internet, on TV, on billboards, through overheard conversations in a restaurant, on social media.

The upside of that is that there are all these wonderful ideas floating around, being shared.

The downside of that is that there are some offensive ideas floating around too.

I believe in balance, and that we can’t have one without the other.  In the interest of being able to obtain all those wonderful ideas, I’ll deal with the ones I don’t like too.

Just because it offends me, doesn’t mean if will offend you.

And vice versa.

Exposure to a variety of ideas encourages independent thinking, synthesis, discussion, and sometimes debate.

Let’s not lose sight of that.

Here’s a link to the most challenged books of 2015.

Here’s a link to the most challenged books of 2000- 2009.

What do you think about challenged books and censorship?

Most Challenged Books of 2000- 2009

I printed out the list of most challenged books, and highlighted the ones I’ve read.  Of the 100 books on the list, I’ve read 24.  Not too bad, but not great either.

I read many of these books, like Killing Mr. Griffen and Scary Stories, as a teenager or child.  I remember being shocked and saddened by Killing Mr. Griffen.  I sympathized with the main character, and how she got pulled into a situation that got out of control.  It made me think about peer pressure and morality (though I wouldn’t have articulated it that way as a kid).  Reading books like these made me a more empathetic person.

I was surprised to see a lot of these books on the list.  Possibly the book I was most surprised by was The Great Gilly Hopkins.  I’m sure I was under 10 when I read this, and I loved it.  Gilly was fearless and terrible.  But she was also frightened, desperate to be loved, and in the end, able to trust again.

I had to look up why this book was challenged, and it appears to be because of Gilly’s flaws.   There is also a section where Gilly tries to get under her African-American teacher’s skin my giving her a card that implies a racial slur.  (I honestly didn’t understand what she was implying when I read this as a kid.)

The thing is that Gilly is awful at times, but it’s also clear that she’s a kid desperately trying to figure out where she fits in, angry at the world and trying to alienate everyone.  As a child, this was a thought-provoking concept.  It set the groundwork for me to understand that everyone has a story.

Of the books on this list that I’ve read, each brings something valuable.  Learning, growing, and changing can be painful, but they’re so worth it.  Books should encourage these processes.  In order to do so, they have provoke strong reactions.  (We don’t learn from anything we’re lukewarm about).  So, if they provoke strong reactions, that means that someone is going to want them banished.

In that sense, a challenge is a compliment to a book.  It means that it invoked that strong emotional response.  I hope that most of the challenges fail, and that adults and teens read these books and have strong reactions to them.  I hope they’re debated loudly on Facebook and Twitter and in coffee houses and over dinner.  I hope that people look at the list, and go out and tell at least one person about a book on this list, how it affected them.

Tell me what you think about any of the books on this list.  Do any surprise you?  Do you love any of them?  Hate any of them?

 

Don’t Ban Eleanor & Park

With Banned Book Week coming up next week, I thought it was important to talk about a book I liked.  Eleanor & Park is a YA novel published in 2013 that’s been challenged a number of times by people who think that parts of it are offensive or inappropriate.

This is an open letter regarding the challenges to Eleanor & Park.  I’ve also sent a copy of this letter to ncac@ncac.org

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to you about Eleanor & Park, by Rainbow Rowell. I’m an adult who read, and loved this book.

I know that this book has been challenged a lot, and I wanted to let you know why I think that it shouldn’t be banned.

I read this book breathlessly, in one day.  I stayed up late because I couldn’t put it down.

This is exactly the kind of book I wish I’d had when I was growing up.  Both Eleanor and Park were so real.  I could empathize with Eleanor.  The strange girl who feels overweight and uncomfortable.  Who wants to fit in, but also wants to stand out and be noticed for who she is.

The dominant themes in the books are domestic violence, child abuse, body image issues, and bullying.  While I couldn’t relate to all of those issues, I could relate to some.  As an awkward teen, I would have loved to read a book that talked these issues in a candid way.

What makes this book so magical is that even though those issues are big and important in the book, the story is ultimately about Eleanor and Park, and how they find one another and fall in love.  Too many stories about big issues are about the big issues, and ignore the human factor, that people can have problems, lots of problems, and still want to fall in love.  Still want to have friends and find their tribe, the people for whom it doesn’t matter if they’re weird or overweight or have things going on at home.

Don’t try to deny kids the right to read this book.  Don’t try to screen kids from reality.  It doesn’t work.  Because they’re either going through some of these issues, or they know someone else who is.  Reading fiction like this can help make us all into more sensitive, caring human beings.  Reading fiction like this can help teens be more prepared for navigating difficult issues.  If nothing else, books like this means that it’s okay to talk about these things.  It gives teens a language to talk about it, a voice to represent them, and a venue to discuss it, even if they don’t say that it’s about them.

I sympathized with both Eleanor and Park.  I laughed out loud sometimes.  And I cried at other parts.  The ending was lovely and perfect.

Life is messy.  This book helps to make sense of some of that.

Thanks for your time.

If you read this book, what do you think?  If you have an opinion, here’s a link to Rainbow Rowell’s website where she explains what you can do to help fight censorship of this book.

N is for Nineteen Eighty-Four

Can you believe that I didn’t read 1984 in high school?  Wasn’t pretty much everyone else assigned that book?

Anyway…

I struggled the first time I tried to read this book.  I got to a certain point and put it down, intending to pick it back up.  But then I didn’t for another four years.

The second time I tried to read it, I must have been in a different place mentally, because I loved it.  I won’t say that I sped through it; it still took me about two weeks, but I enjoyed it.

The whole book is frightening; I can’t stand the thought of having my freedom restricted, especially not to such a degree that it is in this novel.  The idea that someone is watching me, that I’m not even supposed to have thoughts of my own, is horrifying.

The book begins with the main character completing a subversive act.  He’s bought a journal, and intends to write in it.  I can’t imagine what it would be like if I couldn’t write my thoughts down, if I didn’t know that I could keep certain thoughts private, and say anything I like publicly.  Whether or not anyone reads this blog, I have the right to post my thoughts and opinions.  People are free to agree or disagree.

One of the things that happens in the book is that government officials are destroying words.  Instead of being able to choose from amazing, wonderful, awesome, good, and terrific, the replacements are good, plusgood, and plusplusgood.  Imagine, not having a variety of words to choose from!

My personality is reflected by the words I choose.  I’m not a fan of censorship in any form (other than personal censorship by choosing not to read or listen to something).  Controlling thoughts begins with controlling language.

This book gave me a much deeper understanding of how important language is to personal freedom.  It’s a slippery slope, once we start valuing some words more than others, putting some words on the approved list, and kicking others off.

Think about it: words are just letters put together.  The sounds they make are meaningless, until we ascribe meaning to them.  And those meanings can change over time.

I love to read horror novels, and this isn’t one.  But honestly, this might be the scariest book on this list.

Reading Without Limits

In a secular age, I suspect that reading fiction is one of the few remaining paths to transcendence, that elusive state in which the distance between the self and the universe shrinks.”

-Ceridwen Dovey

Growing up, I don’t ever remember my parents questioning my choice of books.

No one around me was really a reader.  My grandmother used to tell me fairy tales, but her eyesight wasn’t good, so I never saw her actually read.

I read anything and everything I wanted.  I went back and forth between kids’ books and adult books.  I read many books that weren’t “appropriate” to my age.

I read about people who want to censor certain books, make them unavailable, and it makes me sad and angry.  Books and art are reflections of reality.  They’re shown to help people be more empathetic.  I think that the world can always use more empathetic people.  Empathy is a resource we can’t possibly have enough of.

It’s true that some kids aren’t ready for certain topics in books they pick up.  I don’t know if I was ready to read Go Ask Alice.  This was before kids needed parental permission to check out provocative books.  But it didn’t leave me with scars, and maybe helped me think about something I wouldn’t have otherwise been exposed to at that time.  The thing is that books expose us in safe ways.  The worst they can give us is eyestrain and nightmares.

The thing is that life often happens before we’re ready for it.  Who’s ready for a loved one to die?  Who’s ready to start a new job?  Who was ready for 9/11, or school shootings?

We’re not.  We can’t be.  So I think allowing people to read what they want to read is a way of preparing us mentally.  It doesn’t make life easier.  But it can lead to better understanding of self and others.  It can expose us to other people’s thinking, and make us reflect on our own thinking in a way that doesn’t happen when we’re discussing the weather or who wore it best.

And if nothing else, it can distract from the harsh realities of life, make it a little easier to get through some days.

I appreciate my parents letting me read what I wanted, without limits.  I think that’s part of what made me such an avid reader.  I still read anything and everything and am interested in a wide variety of topics.

Did you read anything before you were “ready”?  Did your parents weigh in on your book choices?

 

Banned Books Week

From the Phoenix Art Museum
Photo Credit: Doree Weller

This week, September 21-27, was Banned Books Week.

I love the idea that people attempt to ban books.  Why?  Because people wanting to ban a book means that it was provocative, that it touched a nerve.  I’m all for entertainment, and some of my favorite books are just entertaining, with no other “value.”  I don’t think that art needs to have value other than entertainment, but I like it when art provokes and inspires.  Art at its best should have an effect on the reader or viewer or listener.  It should touch some chord within, even if it’s not in a positive way.

Art is a reflection of life, sometimes a truer reflection of life than an actual reflection.  One of my favorite quotes is:

“Artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.”
― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

Life isn’t always pretty.  It’s not always neat.  Sometimes it’s ugly and difficult.  Sometimes it disgusts.  Which is why art should be provocative.

Don’t get me wrong; I have been personally offended by art.  I sympathize with people who want certain books banned.  But there’s only one type of censorship I favor: the ability to choose.  That’s right, if something personally offends me, I can choose not to view it or read it or listen to it.  I think parents should always have the right to choose what their children are exposed to, but that doesn’t mean that a certain group of parents should be able to choose for all.

Personally, when I see a list of banned books, I want to read all the ones on the list.  I’m not easily offended, and I always find it interesting to see what offends others.  I’ve read The Hunger Games and Fifty Shades of Gray, but those are the only ones on the list.

Here’s a list of the Top 10 Most Challenged Books of 2013.