My Technology Diet

Ladybird Johnson Botanical Gardens, Austin TX
Photo Credit: Doree Weller

I need to go on a diet.  A technology diet, that is.

I’m not going to claim that I’m leaving social media or anything crazy like that.  I’m not.

Technology isn’t inherently good or bad; it’s just a tool.  A hammer is just a tool.  It can be used to hammer in a nail, break a window, or as a murder weapon.  The hammer is just doing what you tell it to do.  Same with technology.  It can be a wonderful tool, but it can also be a horrible distraction.

I had some quiet time recently, where I was writing in my journal and just thinking.  My last published story happened in 2013.  2013!  Two years ago.  I had a prolific year for published stories in 2011, and I was wondering what happened.  I used to have tons of ideas, and then they dried up.

At first I thought it was my job.  I had a very stressful job for awhile, but I’m not at that job anymore.

Last night, I realized that it’s my love of technology that’s stopping the flow of ideas.

There was a time when I couldn’t imagine why I’d want a Smartphone.  This was probably in 2007.  I begrudgingly got my first Smartphone because we moved and I was lost all the time.  It was guaranteed GPS, and my husband really wanted me to get on board, so I did.  I’m not sure when my phone became permanently attached to me.  I take it into the bathroom.  It’s in my hand when I move around the house.  I use it in the grocery store (for more than just shopping lists).  I surf the internet or play games when I’m waiting in line.

And because of all this, I have no space in my head to just think and wonder and dream.  I realized that my ideas have “dried up” because I’m not giving them any space to grow.

So I’m going on a technology diet.  I’ll still surf the internet and use my laptop.  But I’m going to (try) to stop carrying my phone with me everywhere.  I’m going to try to put my phone down and look around when I’m in line.  I may actually go back to paper grocery lists, just to remove the temptation.

Have you ever gone on a technology diet?  Do you think it’s something you should do?

The Horrific, Awful, Rotten Truth About Being Fat

Look! A fat cat!

You know, fat is pretty much the worst thing you can be.  It’s worse than kicking puppies or using the wrong your-you’re-yore.  It’s worse than war and worse than disease.

It’s not?

Oh yeah.  It’s not.

So why do we all get so hung up over being fat?  Either someone is hung up about it because they’re carrying too many pounds, or they’re all judgy because someone else is.  I have a thin friend who occasionally says that she’s “channeling her inner fatty” when she indulges in food cravings.  Once, I said that I was fat in front of a friend’s mother, and she said, “Oh, don’t say that.  That’s the worst word you can say.”

Really?  It’s worse than stupid?  Or boring?  Because I’d rather be called fat than stupid or boring.  But those are my priorities.

Look, I’m fat.  Not using the word doesn’t magically make me shed pounds.  When I was in high school, I was called fat (even though I looked amazing), so I squeezed into the smallest size jeans I could, bruising my internal organs and never being able to inhale.  I thought I looked great.  It wasn’t until years later, hearing the word “muffin top” for the first time, that I realized that perhaps jeans in a size larger would have been better.

I have a double chin.  It’s not contagious.  It’s not a moral failing.

I’d like to lose some weight.  I eat mostly vegetables and exercise.  I almost never sit still.  And I don’t lose weight.

I really hate how fat people are portrayed, and even worse, I hate that some of it’s true.  I recently read a book called The Big, Not-So-Small, Curvy Girls Dating Agency by Ava Catori.  I wanted to like the book, but the character spent most of the book drooling over a hot guy and feeling insecure because “guys like him don’t date girls like me.”  I know that for a lot of overweight women, that’s how it works; that’s how they feel.  And how sad is that?  That she’s simultaneously drooling over his looks and hoping he’s not so superficial that he won’t be put off by hers?

In Fried Green Tomatoes by Fannie Flagg (amazing book, by the way), the main character eats all the candy and junk food she can gets her hands on, complains about being “fat,” and at one point reveals she’s a size 16.  If I ate junk food the way she does, I’d probably be twice my weight.  Listen: not everyone who’s fat is fat because they eat junk food.  And not everyone who’s thin gets there by way of diet and exercise.

And who cares, anyway?

If you’re fat because you eat junk food and never exercise, who am I to judge you?  Why is that even part of any discussion?  Now, if you eat junk food because you feel lonely or depressed, that’s a different story.  That’s sad and I’d love for you to work on that so you don’t have to feel that way, BUT, it’s not judgement-worthy.  We all have choices.

I’ve mostly stopped being self-conscious about my weight.  Yeah, I have bad days, and sometimes I see pictures of myself taken at a bad angle, and hate the way I look.  But most of the time, I like the way I look.  It’s nice to be able to say that and mean it.

We get all hung up on the word “fat,” and honestly, I don’t mind it.  It’s accurate.  You can say “overweight,” and it still means the same thing.  Euphemisms don’t make the word mean something else.  It just means you’re trying to be politically correct and obscure what you really mean.

News flash: I know overweight means fat.  It’s okay.

Personally, I hate the word “obese.”  That one gets thrown around a lot because of BMI, and it makes me think of people who are so large they can’t get out of their homes.  But that’s not what obese means.  I’m obese, of course, but I have friends who look like they’re at “normal” weights who are technically “obese.”  *sigh*

We’re all different.  Shapes, sizes, colors.  It’s what makes the world go round.  Whether you’re fat or thin, tall or short, black or white or brown (or some shade in between), just be the best you that you can be.  Own it.

I sent this to a friend of mine:

And their response was: “So you’re beautiful.”

Best compliment ever.

Tune in for tomorrow’s tips about dealing with being fat.  And no, I’m not writing about exercise.

Vegetarianism, Rules, and Me

Two years ago, I decided to do a lifestyle change. I was having a lot of problems with my stomach, and I was opposed to medication that would mask, but not fix my problem. My doctor told me to read The Spectrum, by Dean Ornish, and I learned that I have a lot of unhealthy attitudes toward food.

I’ve been overweight as long as I can remember. I have a picture of me on my 7th birthday, standing beside my slim and neat best friend. I’m pudgy and pigtailed. I knew what the word “diet” was before I knew what calories were, and I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life.
There’s probably a mix of genetic and lifestyle reasons for my weight struggles. As much as I struggled with my weight as a teenager, on a perpetual “diet,” I look back at pictures and realize I was gorgeous. As much as I’m “obese” now, I realize that how I look isn’t as bad as I sometimes think. I have good days and bad days with that.

I ate the way I was taught, and thought it was the way you were “supposed to.” I never really liked meat, not as an every day thing. But I ate it, along with my potato or rice and my vegetable, because that’s how you’re “supposed to” eat. I was so programmed, and never thought to explore different ways. I was never into fad diets, but if I worked at dieting, I was always hungry. I never “went vegetarian” because I didn’t think I could stick to it forever and ever, never eating meat again.

After I read The Spectrum, I realized the rules I thought I knew were all just BS, and they weren’t right for me. I never liked meat, but I ate it because I wasn’t “a vegetarian.”

These days, I primarily try to avoid processed foods. I eat fish once or twice a month. I’ve eaten other types of meat 3 times in the past year. Twice, I had literally two bites of something to try it. I ate a steak on my birthday. The vegetarian police didnt come to get me. I haven’t lost any weight, but my stomach problems went away, and I have more energy.

I may have to resign myself to the fact that unless I want to be hungry all the time or spend a half hour a day in the gym, I’m going to be way overweight. I have more energy than most of my average weight friends and I never stop moving. I eat healthier than anyone else I know. I’ve (mostly) stopped using weight as a yardstick of health. It’s hard sometimes. I want to have flat abs and thighs that don’t jiggle, but I don’t think it’s ever going to happen. And I’m trying to be okay with that.

Friday Writing Prompt- I’m Getting Around To That!

How many of us have said, “I’ll get to that tomorrow.  Or Monday.  Or when X happens.”?  I suspect every one of us has done this, with the best of intentions.  The thing is that tomorrow or Monday or X comes and goes and we don’t get around to it.

Last week, I wrote a post about goal setting, and I know I’m not the only one who deals with this.  I recently read a great article on why, when we mess up on our diet goals, we shouldn’t wait until Monday to get back on the wagon.

With that being said, it put me in mind of a perfect writing prompt.  Write about a time that you (or your character) put off something important.  It doesn’t have to be earth shattering, just something important to you (or the character).  Diet, exercise, writing, a new hobby, getting a dog, volunteering.

On a related topic, why do you suppose most of us put things off that are important to us?  In part, I blame our busy schedules and the Internet.  But it has to go deeper than that.  Theories, anyone?