Laws of Attraction

Grand Turk
Photo Credit: Doree Weller

Some people believe that if they want something enough, they can attract it.  I don’t believe that.  If wanting something were enough, we’d all be gorgeous millionares.

“The world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful,the world will prove to be loving and friendly and helpful in return. The world is what you are.”

~ Thomas Dreier

I’ve noticed that people react to me in the same way I react to them, like a mirror.  Most people can’t help but smile back at someone who’s smiling at them.  If you’re polite, it’s hard to be rude to you.  Sure, some people are jerks and will act the way they do, no matter what you do, but in general, your attitude defines your reality.

As you start off on this Monday morning, remember that.  Remember that your attitude defines your reality.  And if others are treating you badly, ask yourself if your own attitude plays a part in it.  By the same token, if people are treating you well, know that means you’re probably doing your part to spread sunshine.

The Price of Honesty

Once upon a time, when I was younger, and knew everything, I thought that it was okay to let people know I didn’t like them.  I thought that being misanthropic toward people meant I was being honest.  I’m an introvert, so my default setting is to not like anyone, especially when I first meet them.  Therefore, if someone irritated me more than the normal why-do-I-have-to-interact-with-other-humans reaction, I would make sure they knew that I didn’t like them, using snide remarks, sarcasm, and occasionally out and out ignoring.

Yes, as an “adult,” I often acted like a 5 year old.

In my defense, I have made friends with some strange characters who didn’t have boundaries, and in the cases, the only way I found to discourage them from following me around was to be rude.

But still, that’s no reason to treat other people badly.

I had been sort of coming to that realization for awhile.  I realized that the people who I admired most were kind to everyone, and didn’t treat others badly, even when they deserved it.

Then, I started work at a new place, and most everyone ignored me.  They weren’t mean; just indifferent.  I didn’t feel welcome, except for two people who went out of their way to be helpful and kind.  I realized that the “honesty” I thought I was selling was really snake oil.

How you treat people says more about you than it does about them.  What do I want my behavior to say about me?  Do I want it to say that I’m judgmental, unkind, and disinterested?  Or do I want it to say that I’m accepting, kind, and helpful?

I still prefer to be left alone, and it can be hard to get interested in new people, but I try to make an effort, at least to smile and have a conversation, because that’s how I would want someone to treat me.

What do you want your behavior to tell others about you?

E is for Encouragement

Encouragement is so important, especially when things are difficult.  I think we all crave encouraging words sometimes.  Even the most confident of us sometimes need validation and to know that someone is paying attention.

There are times when I feel invisible and almost taken for granted. Mostly, I suppose, I just feel sorry for myself sometimes.

A month or so ago, at work, one of my coworkers said, “Thanks for being you.”  I didn’t know what to say, because I hadn’t said anything I thought was particularly meaningful.  She was just having a rough day and I listened for a moment, then said something that made her laugh.  It was nice to be appreciated for being me, and encouraged me to continue being the best “me” that I am.

Writing is a very discouraging hobby/ job/ calling.  Most of what I write gets rejected.  Repeatedly.  People read my blogs but don’t leave comments, so I don’t know if people love my blog, hate my blog, or just click on it as part of some grand alien conspiracy.  I write for myself first and foremost, but sometimes just having someone “like” my blog can be the highlight of my day.

I try to encourage other writers.  I visit their blogs and comment.  I try to follow people when I like what they’ve written, though honestly, it’s an easy way to spread myself too thin.

“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.”
-William Arthur Ward

I love this quote, and I really believe it.  Sure, we all like to be flattered, but most of us don’t buy it (I don’t).  I can’t live on a diet of criticism.  I want to be noticed, but instead of complimented, I want to be encouraged.  “Thanks for being you” is a comment I won’t forget.

So if you’re visiting me today, thanks for stopping by.  And thanks for being you.