Judging Your Book Choices

I was on Twitter the other day, and someone asked the question, “If you were on a first date with someone and asked them what their favorite book was, what would be a dealbreaker?”

I read through the comments, because that’s what I do. I was surprised by how judgemental people were. Some of the popular ones for women were: Infinite Jest, anything Ayn Rand, Lolita, Catcher in the Rye. For men, they were things like Eat, Pray, Love, Twilight, and 50 Shades of Gray.

When did we all become so willing to judge people based on a single metric? Like, I can understand if someone named Lolita as their favorite book, and then said, “I thought the relationship between Lolita and Hubert Humphrey was inspirational and healthy,” then okay, I can understand why you’d nope out.

But the book is considered a classic. (Full disclosure: I haven’t read it.) What if someone started talking about it being their favorite book based on literary merit? Would that change things?

I’m honestly distressed by this trend of judging people based on a single metric of opinion, and I’m really over people being judged based on their book choices.

We like what we like, and there’s a huge difference between behavior and opinion. People hold opinions for a lot of different reasons. I’m not going to judge you based on your book choices or your clothes choices or even who you voted for. I will judge you based on how you talk to the waitress who just took our order and how you treat my other friends (even if you don’t like them) and how you react when I tell you something important to me.

I’m always puzzled when I read articles talking about how most readers have a favorite book, and then a fake favorite book that they tell people about so that others judge them differently. The first time I read that, I thought, “Is this a thing? Why is this a thing?” But now I get it. If people are judging based on your reading material, then it makes sense that people might want to pretend.

I’m always curious why people love a book I hated, but I’d never judge someone for it. Tastes are different, and I like learning about other people through their entertainment choices. There are so many books out there that aren’t for me, but that doesn’t automatically make the person reading them into someone I wouldn’t like. Learn to get along with lots of different people, and I guarantee, life will be happier.

And don’t judge other people based on their choices, when those choices hurt literally no one. Just don’t.

What’s your favorite book(s)? Do you judge others based on their book choices? If so, help me understand why.

 

 

Overloaded

Photo credit: RJS Photography

It’s so much easier to get overloaded than to move stuff off my plate.  I don’t have that many commitments outside my home, so I’m never quite sure how I get so overloaded.  I’m sure that poor time management skills and having a lot of things I want to do are part of the problem.  I don’t watch much TV (though I’m currently watching Breaking Bad… more on that later), and I’ve been trying to read less.

I realize that saying I’m trying to read less is probably a little strange to most people, but I have a serious book addiction.  I really cannot put books down once I start them, even if I’ve read them before.  Its not unusual for me to read a book in two days, but during that time, I’ve accomplished virtually nothing else.  So I have to just read less because I do have other things I want to do.

Right now I’m in one of my overloaded states, but it’s just been a busy few weeks.  I already work a 4/ 40 hour week with an hour commute each way.  I’ve recently had some things I’ve had to do to help family, extra trainings for work, and all the normal stuff to keep a household running.  Plus, since I’m a whole foods vegetarian, I pretty much have to cook.  Add that up to one overloaded person.

On top of all that, I gained a bunch of weight back that I had previously lost.  While I’m trying not to judge myself for that, it’s just not easy.  With the weather getting marginally cooler here, I’m trying to recommit to walking daily.  Just a half hour a day, and if I can’t do that, 20 minutes, and if I can’t do that, 10 minutes.  I’m reminding myself that the goal is improvement, not all or nothing.  All or nothing is what overloads me in the first place.

To all of you out there who are in the same boat as I am, be kind to yourself today.  And if you’re not going to judge me for being too busy and making poor food choices, don’t judge yourself either.