If You Do It, Someone Will Judge It

It doesn’t matter what “it” is.  If it can be done, someone will judge it.

On that note, welcome to Wellness Wednesday.  Every Wednesday, I post something related to personal wellness.

Sunglass Cat- Find her on Facebook!
Austin, Texas
Photo credit: RJS Photography

I recently read an article about a woman who likes to read books.  She talked about being new to reading romance books, and gave some of her recommendations for books along with stating that despite the bad reputation romance books get, some of them are more well-written than others.

Then the post got weird.

She then wrote about not being afraid to tell others that you read romance novels, that some people will judge you for it, but that talking about romance novels is the only way to find other people who read them and get recommendations.

Say what?  People will judge you for reading a book?!?

Yes, dear reader.  People will judge you for what books you read.  It doesn’t matter that they haven’t read anything other than a cereal box in 10 years; others will judge what you read.  People judge Twilight and 50 Shades of Gray without having read them.  I’m not saying they’re literature; I’m just calling shenanigans on judging them based on an article someone else wrote about them.

Look, I’m a fan of doing what makes you happy.  Those people who are judging you?  They aren’t going to be around in 10 years, 10 days, and sometimes not even in 10 minutes.  They don’t pay your bills.  They haven’t lived your life.

Not caring what people think is an art form that few master, but when I see someone who obviously doesn’t care what others think, I want to applaud.  The happiest people know that flying under the radar is overrated.  I say that as long as what you do doesn’t actively harm anyone, do what you want to do.

Some people will say that you “harm” them when they really mean “offend.”  I’ve heard people say that being gay, having tattoos, wearing things with swear words, having a certain hair color is “harmful” to morality or some nonsense.

I call shenanigans.

Harm is what you do to someone else, not what you do to yourself.  If you hit on someone who isn’t interested (after they’ve told you), that’s harm.  If you hold someone at gunpoint and force them to get tattoos, that’s harm.  If you swear in someone’s face, that’s harm.  If you throw hair dye on someone else, that’s harm.

Being you… not harmful.

So today, remember that all the things you like and dislike make you uniquely you.  They make you cool and interesting.  If someone else doesn’t like those things, then that’s cool.  It means that they’re different from you.  Maybe you can even learn things from one another.

Go forth and be uniquely you today, no matter what that means.  And don’t judge others for being who they are.  Embrace it.  Enjoy it.

Live it.

K is for Keys

I love old keys, and I’m not sure why. I just think they’re really cool to look at, and they always make me wonder who used them.  When did they stop using them?  Doorknobs don’t really have character anymore.  Most of the features in new houses are built for efficiency and usefulness, but the lack character and quirkiness of old homes.

I live in a new house now, and I like a lot of things about it, but I grew up in a farmhouse, and I miss the creaky steps, odd drafts, doorways set everywhere for no apparent reason, and the keyholes in the doors.

I can’t be the only one interested in this.  Books and literature talk about both literal and metaphoric keys.  Keys seem to be one of those universal symbols that speak to everyone on some level.

Timeless

I once read a bit of writing advice that said it’s important not to put slang into your story so as not to date your work.  In that way, your work will be able to have longer lasting appeal.  For a little while, I bought it.  I have a tendency to believe just about anything, at least at first.

Now I think that bit of advice is hogwash.

Having a story without anything to “date it,” when done deliberately, is a bit like cooking without any spices so that you don’t offend any taste buds.  I was reading a book today in which the author referred to someone watching Johnny Carson.  Until I read that, I hadn’t realized the book was published in 1990.  I liked reading that.  There’s another series of books, the In Death series by JD Robb, which are set in 2059.  The author has some of the characters use slang, different slang than what’s used now, but I like the fact that the characters talk differently.  I think that it adds to both the setting and adds depth to the characters.

Let’s face it, timeless classics are anything but “timeless.”  I like reading Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice, not because they’re set in a time vacuum, but because the characters are timeless, the plot is timeless, and they way they make me feel is timeless.  It’s like the photos I talked about yesterday.  Reading these books is like looking back at a moment in time.

I don’t advocate adding slang just for the sake of doing it, or putting in things to date your work just because.  But if something fits, if it adds to the story, or the character or just feels right, then of course you as an author should add it.  I judge what to put in and take out by what I like to read.  If I enjoy it as a reader, then it’s the right thing to do as an author.