4 Myths About Critiquing

IMG_2068Over time, I’ve made changes in the way I critique. I read articles on how to critique and tried to follow the “rules.” But through giving and receiving critiques, I’ve found that there were some “rules” I agreed with, and others I didn’t.

Here are a few of the most popular ones I disagree with.

Don’t suggest big changes.

This is an interesting one. On the surface, it seems logical. After all, it’s the writer’s story, and there’s nothing more insulting than a critiquer trying to remake a story into something they’d write rather than the story the writer envisioned.

But let’s dig deeper. My goal is getting published, a goal I share with many of the writers I  work with.

I’ve heard stories of agents who want different endings. For one of my published stories, I was asked to cut the entire first section. Right now, I’m making a major edit to the novel I was, until recently, querying.

Big changes to work are intimidating, but sometimes necessary. If you, as a critiquer, feel that a big change is necessary, isn’t it important to say so? How is it helpful if you think that a big change would improve the story, but you keep it to yourself?

I don’t think it is, which is why I call this one bogus.

Don’t rewrite

In my writer’s group, one of us uses Hemmingway’s short, terse, style as a model of good writing. Another person loves the meandering flow of literary fiction. I’m somewhere in between those two extremes.

If the Hemmingway guy were to rewrite the sentences of the meandering flow guy, it would be silly because their styles are at opposite ends of a continuum.

But rewriting a sentence doesn’t mean that you think the person should copy your style; it means that giving an example is the clearest way to illustrate your point.

I’m all for rewriting. Sometimes when I get feedback like, “This sentence doesn’t flow,” it frustrates me. What does that mean? If the person critiquing rewrote it to show me what they meant, that doesn’t mean I have to take it and include it verbatim; it just means that perhaps I now have a more concrete way to understand their feedback.

I rewrite sparingly, but I do it sometimes because it’s easier than explaining. I have a good relationship with everyone in my writer’s groups, so I think (hope) that they all know that when I rewrite, it’s not because what they wrote was terrible (though we all write terrible sentences sometimes), but because I think it can be better.

Don’t argue/ discuss

I believe I said this myself… when getting feedback, be quiet and listen. And I do believe that. What I meant was to not argue with the opinion. If Person A hates your character, don’t argue that the character is actually a great person, as they’ll see if they just stick around until the second act. Readers don’t stick around.

In a small group, sometimes a discussion can be exactly what the writer needs to figure out what they need to do. Through discussion, the writer can parse out why Person A hates your character, and then when they mention that they hated the part where the character ignored their mother, maybe others will say that part bothered them too, but they didn’t think that one moment was worth judging.

At that point, maybe you as a writer understand something that you didn’t before and you can address it.

One of my favorite quotes on writing comes from Neil Gaiman:

“Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.”

Sometimes a discussion among the group is the best way for the writer to assess what it is that wasn’t working for people in the group and how they can best address their intention.

Having people suggest changes, even if you aren’t going to use those changes, is a fabulous way to brainstorm. I’ve had some of the best ideas come out of the most frustrating discussions.

Be careful of others’ feelings.

Okay, this is a tricky one. I don’t want to give anyone permission to just be consistently negative and horrible and disguise it as a critique. At the same time, if you’re being too careful of people’s feelings, it can lead to those ridiculous, “It was fine!” kind of critiques.

More important than being careful of people’s feelings is being respectful of them. Because I respect everyone in my writers’ groups so much, I want them to make their stories as polished as they can. I want them to be published. Because of this respect, I’m going to be honest and concrete.

It doesn’t always feel good to be honest. I know that sometimes, in my group, I would prefer not to point out a major plot problem. Sometimes I have so much to say that I feel like I’m “picking on” one person. When I’m the only one who says anything about a particular section, that’s hard. I feel like I’m just being a jerk. It’s even harder when all of us, as a group, say the same thing. Then I feel like part of a bullying gang.

But if we want to improve and want others to improve, we have to say the hard stuff and trust that they can take it. It’s important to focus on what you liked when there’s a lot that needs to be improved. It’s easier to build on a strength than to undo a weakness.

For example, people often tell me that they like my supporting characters and my dialog. They often struggle with my main characters (who tend to be “blank”). Knowing that I already know how to build interesting characters (secondary characters) made it easier to identify how to improve my blank main characters. I’m still working on it, but knowing what I do well helps me to generalize those skills.

 

 

Bottom line, be respectful and honest. In the end, other people own their own feelings, and you aren’t responsible. It’s hard to put your creative work out there, but there will always be people who would rather destroy than build. As long as your goal is always to build someone else up and you’re coming from a genuine place of wanting to help, it’s hard to go wrong.

Is there anything you’ve heard about critiquing that you disagree with?

Book Challenges- Week 11

Popsugar Challenge

(11/50) Over 20%!

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A book by someone of a different ethnicity than you: The Mothers, by Brit Bennett– I wrote about this book earlier in the week. I was so excited about it that I hadn’t even finished it before I had to write about it in my blog 5 Books I Regret Putting Off. The ending was, unfortunately, disappointing. Not enough for me to hate it, but just enough for me to wish the author had done something a little different. It was still a good book and worth reading, but instead of a 5-star book, it’s between 3.5 and 4 stars for me (which means it’s somewhere between “I liked it” and “I really liked it”).

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A book about time travel: Fortunately, The Milk, by Neil Gaiman– This is a cute middle-grade book with illustrations, about a father who goes out to buy milk, stays too long, so makes up a story about being kidnapped by aliens. It was fun, and a well-needed break from reality.

While I Was Reading Challenge

(4/12) 33% done

The Unread Shelf

Running Total: 3

5 Classic Books

(0/5) No progress

Miscellaneous Reading

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Uncommon Type: Some Stories, by Tom Hanks– I’m not sure how I heard about this book, but I’ve had it on hold at the library since last year. It finally came in the same week as another book I’d put on hold months ago. Because, of course.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but the stories are consistently sweet and funny, only tied together by the thread that every one of them contained a typewriter reference. I do love books of short stories, and this was an easy read with some unexpectedly poignant stories about life and love.

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Yes, Please! by Amy Poehler– I was driving this week, so I needed an audiobook. In general, I prefer books by comedians. Maybe it’s because they’re used to making their voices accessible to everyone that they’re so easy for me to understand while I’m driving.  This book was interesting and funny and serious and not serious. Ms. Poehler talks about her life in funny vignettes and touches on serious topics like her divorce. She seems like the kind of person who’d be fun to share a drink with. One of the things I liked is that she’s pro-girl; she believes in lifting other women up and supporting them when possible and kept it classy without a single moment of cattiness.

Abandoned

None this week.

2018 Running Total: 29

 

Have you made any progress on your TBR or book challenges?

5 Books I Regret Putting Off

I’ve complained a few (million) times about all the books on my TBR, and how the stack seems never-ending.

Some of them I was excited to read at one time. Others made their way onto the pile because of recommendations from other people or because it was cheap at a library book sale, or because Book of the Month recommended it.

But the book goes on a shelf and doesn’t get read. I pass it over in favor of books I’ve met at the library or something new and interesting.

That’s why I get so aggravated with myself when I realize that I’ve put off reading a book that’s so phenomenal I think everyone should read it. Immediately.

It’s like a little piece of wonderfulness was sitting on my shelf all that time, and I never knew it.

Here are some of the best books I put off reading.

  1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, by JK Rowling Yes, seriously. I was told over and over again that I needed to read this book. I only read it to prove everyone wrong, that it wasn’t really the greatest thing since sliced bread. I learned my lesson.
  2. Anything by Neil Gaiman I “discovered” Neil Gaiman last year. (Yes, I know. *sigh*) Sometime before 2003, I attended a writer’s conference in Pennsylvania. I wrote up a list of books recommended to me, and then never followed through with a single one of them. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why do I do this to myself?
  3. Guilty Pleasures, by Laurell K. Hamilton A friend bought me this book when I was in high school. I didn’t read it. It languished in a box somewhere until I literally bought the exact same book, then realized I’d already owned it for years. Seriously, if you haven’t discovered the wonderfulness of Hamilton’s early (like first 10) Anita Blake books, do yourself a favor.
  4. The Mothers, by Brit Bennett I’m not completely done with this book yet, but it’s fantastic so far. I had a stranger stop me as I was reading it and say that she’d just finished it and loved it. That doesn’t happen to me often, so it bodes well.
  5. Outlander, by Diana Gabaldon I’m almost as ashamed to admit this one as I was to admit Harry Potter. But at least the Harry Potter books I can blame on the arrogance of youth. For this one, I got nothing. I found a scribbled paper from the supervisor I had at my internship, recommending this book to me in 2010! I cheated myself out of 7 years of happiness. Though, to be honest, I don’t remember her warning me that the first 100 pages were slow, so maybe I would have quit it. Maybe everything happens the way it does for a reason.

Fess up… what’s the book you most regret putting off reading?

Book Challenges- Week 9

I had a slow reading week. I was traveling and doing more writing than reading, which isn’t a bad thing, of course. It’s just always weird for me to look back at the week and realize I only barely finished two books.

Popsugar Challenge

(7/50) No reading progress this week. BUT, I was on an airplane and saw two strangers reading! It was a little disconcerting to look around the airport and see everyone staring at their phones. The way they were interacting with them, I could tell they weren’t reading. But in first class, a guy was reading Dan Brown’s Origin. The woman beside me on the airplane read Holes, by Louis Sachar (for about 5 minutes… but it counts!). Honestly, they both look good, so I’m excited that I now have choices.

To be honest, I felt a little bad. I was reading on my Kindle (because it’s obviously easier to travel with than paper books) and I thought, “If someone else is trying to spot a stranger reading in public, I’m being completely unhelpful.” Sorry everyone.

While I Was Reading Challenge

(3/12) 25% done, but no progress this week

The Unread Shelf

Running Total: 3

5 Classic Books

(0/5) No progress

Miscellaneous Reading

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YOU Are a Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, by Jen Sincero: I used to be all elitist about self-help books, figuring they were all garbage saying some variation of “be positive!” Of course, that was when I was much younger, and before I’d ever read any. It’s easy to be critical of something you’ve never interacted with.

Then, when I was working on my Master’s Degree, one of my first assignments was to compile a list of ten self-help books that I’d recommend to clients, and what I’d recommend them for. So, off I went to the bookstore to take a closer look at these books.

What I found surprised me (and probably no one else). Some did appear to be garbage, of course. But far more appeared to be well-written by legitimate sources. The messages they delivered were far more complex than I’d think.

That set me on an actual exploration of self-help books. I’ve read more and more as time has gone on because I actually enjoy them. I enjoy the messages and recommendations to improve my already pretty wonderful life. If my life was less than wonderful, I think they’d be even more helpful.

This book was a lot of fun to read. I liked Ms. Sincero’s down to earth language and practical tips to reach goals and build confidence. A friend said this was great on audiobook, and though I didn’t read that version, my guess is that the enthusiasm of the author would bleed through even more than it did. (And even on paper, I could feel her enthusiasm.) I really enjoyed this, and if you’re looking for a fun and interesting book encourage you to reach any goal you’ve been putting off or “failing” at, this is a great place to start.

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The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman: So, I wanted an audiobook to read on a long car ride. When I asked for recommendations, this one popped up. However, it’s narrated by Neil Gaiman, and I can’t follow his voice. But it looked intriguing, so I had to read it anyway.

Nobody “Bod” Owens grew up in a graveyard after a man failed to murder him. The ghosts who live there vow to protect him and teach him everything they know. This book has lovely illustrations along with a captivating story. Another reason I’m glad I skipped the audiobook and went for the print version.

2018 Running Total: 23

Have you made any progress on your TBR or book challenges?

Should Fiction Be Safe?

In his book, Trigger Warning, Neil Gaiman asked the question, “Should fiction be safe?”

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Now that trigger warnings have escaped the internet, he wondered if they’re going to move over into fiction. He talked about reading books he wasn’t ready for, how they scared him and made him think. But that as an adult, he’s glad he read them when he did.

It made me ponder that question he asked. Should fiction be a safe place?

First, what is the purpose of reading? Entertainment? To increase empathy? To broaden one’s mind? To travel to places and times the reader has never been?

Second, what would be the purpose of a trigger warning in a book? In my mind, it would be to shield the reader from material that could cause potential emotional distress.

My Experiences Growing Up Reading Everything

Before I address the first and second point, I’d like to say that my parents weren’t readers, and as such, never told me I couldn’t read anything. I read Watchers (which has some explicit sex scenes) at 12. I read all of Thomas Harris’s and many of Stephen King’s books when I was a young teenager. I also read romances and middle grade books and young adult books and science fiction books… basically, if it was fiction, I read it.

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There were some books I wasn’t emotionally ready for. I skipped over sex scenes in books when I wasn’t interested. Some drug references went over my head. Violence in books sometimes made me afraid to go out at night. I remember reading a particularly graphic sex scene in a book about a serial killer. Though the violence was no problem, the sex grossed me out, and I abandoned the book.

I’m not a sex fiend or violent now. I’m an incurable optimist with a streak of dark humor. Nothing grosses me out, and very little bothers me. I have thick skin and lots of concern about the suffering of others.

Should I have been allowed to read anything? Well, my answer is yes. I like the way I turned out. 🙂 Maybe that permissive reading style isn’t right for everyone, but it worked for me.

I say all this so that when I talk about whether or not fiction should be safe, you understand my frame of reference. Everyone is going to have different experiences which shape them.

What is the Purpose of Reading?

To answer the first question, to me, fiction is all of those things. Sometimes I want a book purely for entertainment. When I do, I might look for a Nora Roberts/ JD Robb book. I might ask my friends for recommendations. I might go to Goodreads or just look on my ever-lengthening TBR or wishlist and look for something that seems light.

All books help to increase empathy and broaden one’s mind, but if I’m looking for something specific, I might go for something that explores a current issue from a fiction point of view, like The Hate U Give, by Angie Thomas, or something more classic, like Lord of the Flies, by William Golding.

When I’m looking to travel, the Outlander series is a wonderful way to go.

What I’ve Learned From Books

When I read something that’s difficult, like The Hate U Give, I’m pushed outside myself. I’m inside the head of a narrator and shown something different from the life I live. Those books are not “safe.” They test our empathy and proclaim, in no uncertain terms, “Bad things can happen to anyone.”

When I read a book like Watchers, by Dean Koontz it makes me consider what our moral responsibility is to the world around us, and what, as humans, is our place in this world.

When I read a book like You, by Caroline Kepnes, it makes me think about the information that I put on social media.

When I read a book like The Sun is Also a Star, by Nicola Yoon, it makes me realize how privileged and lucky I really am. And how much little things I say and do can affect others in the world around me.

One of my best friends always says, “Everyone I come across has something to teach me. It’s my job to find the lesson.”

In the same way, every book I read has something to teach me. Am I paying attention?

Should Fiction Be Safe?

I would argue that it shouldn’t be.

There is no safe place. Not in the fiction world, not in the real world.

There is always going to be something that will scare me, but not someone else. Something that might not upset me, but might upset someone. I love books that distress me. That means that something resonated with me emotionally. Those are the books I think about and want to discuss. Even if I disagree. Maybe especially if I don’t agree.

Sometimes those books make me feel a little sick. Sometimes they creep into my dreams or make it hard to fall asleep. Sometimes they make the world seem like a scary place.

But they also make me feel fully alive.

All The Ugly and Wonderful Things, by Bryn Greenwood, got either 5 star ratings or 1 star ratings on Goodreads. Why? It’s a disturbing and belief-shaking book. It asks questions that aren’t okay in polite company.

I had absolutely no idea what the book was about going into it, and if I had, I probably wouldn’t have read it. Based on my beliefs, I would have said I wasn’t interested.

I am so thankful that I got a copy of the book without knowing anything about it ahead of time. It’s one of my all time favorite books. I love everything about it, but my favorite thing is that it made me question something I “knew” to be true. I had to re-evaluate my beliefs.

It is very easy to believe something. It’s not easy to evaluate those beliefs and allow for new information. That doesn’t mean you have to change your mind. But any belief worth having is worth critically thinking about all sides.

Really good books make that possible.

I never know ahead of time which books are going to shake my foundations. For me, that’s the fun of it.

So, my reader friend, I ask you: should fiction be safe?