How to Become An Early Bird in 13 Easy Steps

Step 1: Pick a time to wake. Make sure it’s in the middle of winter, preferably early enough to wake up in the dark.

Step 2: Try to go to sleep early. Toss and turn for about a half hour before giving up and going to watch Battlestar Galactica on Netflix.

Step 3: When your alarm goes off, hit the snooze button. Then hit it again. And again. And… one more time.

Step 4: Get out of bed, mumbling how ridiculous it is to wake up in the middle of the freaking night. That it would be easier just not to go to sleep. Channel your inner Garfield and say repeatedly, “I’d like mornings better if they started later.”

Step 5: Look longingly at your coffee pot and cry a little, since you gave up caffeine a few months ago.

Step 6: Force yourself to get through the day, telling yourself that being exhausted will make it easier to sleep that night.

Step 7: Start to wake up around 8 p.m. By 10 p.m., be at peak creativity and wakefulness. Don’t bother to go to bed. Reason that if you keep forcing yourself awake early, you’ll eventually be ready to sleep early.

Step 8: Repeat steps 3-7 for several days.

Step 9: Be thrilled that you can sleep in on Saturday. Stay up until midnight or so on Friday night, gleeful in the feeling that things are back to normal, at least for two days.

Step 10: Wake at 5:45 a.m. on Saturday for NO REASON.

Step 11: Curse a lot. Ask questions like, “Brain, why do you hate me?”

Step 12: Convince yourself that you actually liked getting up early, that it’s good for you.

Step 13: Come Monday morning, repeat Steps 1- 9. Pretend you like it.

Operation Noah’s Ark Complete

My new yard!

My new yard!  Very green…

Sorry for the lack of updates for almost a week.  As some of you know, I completed my move from Arizona to Texas this weekend.  My stuff moved out and into my new house two weeks ago (I’ve been camping in my living room) and this weekend, we moved the last of the things and the animals out.

We have six cats and two dogs, so the only logical and practical way to transport them is by vehicle.  So, we rented a minivan and I drove my Golf, and we took two days to drive  1,008 miles.  I had the two dogs and one cat, and the husband had the other 5 cats plus my plants.  Driving is not my favorite thing, as I consider it to be boring, so there were times on the very loooooooooong drive that I thought I wasn’t going to make it.  I thought I would just pull over to the side of the road and refuse to go any further.

Because we’re brilliant and organized, we didn’t leave until 5p.m. on Sunday.  We got to our hotel around 2 a.m.  Of course, because we got in late, we didn’t leave until late on Monday (noon), and got to our new home around 2 a.m. again!  Needless to say, between sleep deprivation, time changes, and a very long drive, I’m still tired and adjusting.  It’s going to take lots of coffee and naps before I’m back to normal (please note that I’m referring to my “normal,” not “normal normal”).

Last time we moved, the cats seemed traumatized, hiding and acting weird for weeks.  This time around, everyone is exploring, jumping on boxes, and generally having a great time.  Attitude makes a difference, even in cats!  We bought the dogs a tennis ball launcher yesterday, so they, of course, are perfectly fine.

Wish me luck unpacking!