You know, last night, I tried to think of a “C” word to blog about, and couldn’t come up with anything. Then this morning, still a blank. I was thrilled when I thought about blogging about complaining, because I do love to complain. As I sat down to write this, I thought of another great “C” word- cannibalism, and couldn’t resist blogging about both. I’m sure I can think of a way to bring them together if need be.
I love to complain, though I don’t really like listening to others complain. For myself, I regard it as an art form. After all, as long as I couch my complaints in comedy, they don’t sound as bad, right? Right?!? My complaints are more interesting than everyone else’s, right? C’mon guys, work with me!
The fact is, I’m not sure why we, as human beings, like to complain so much. The only time my dogs complain is when they’re hungry, when the water bowl is empty, or when they want to play. These are complaints with a concrete solution; I can fix them every time if I want to.
My complaints are of a much less concrete nature. I’m tired. The weekend isn’t long enough. I sometimes have to leave the house. I don’t have enough time for anything, let alone to exercise/ write/ cook/ clean/ talk to people on the phone. Yet I, unlike my dogs, control my life. Due to the miracle of opposable thumbs, I can get my own food and water, and open the door to go out and play.
So what does all my complaining boil down to? I don’t know. (This isn’t the blog for answers… I ask a lot of questions). Maybe it’s my way of not having to do things or take a close look at things. Maybe I’ve just fallen into the habit of complaining. I wonder, though, if I spent as much time and energy doing some of this stuff rather than complaining about it, if I’d get more done.
Enough of that deep stuff for now. On to cannibalism. If I had to rate complainers on a scale of 1 to 10, one being Mother Theresa, and ten being your mother in law, I’d probably fall at about a 5. What if we shipped all workplace complainers above a 7 to remote countries where cannibalism is still legal? I bet that would cut down on people whining that the water cooler is empty or that the copy machine has another paper jam! Think about how much more pleasant the workplace could be!
Here’s a link to the top 10 cases of human cannibalism. Enjoy!
This is a fun summary of cannibalism cases. I should warn you though that there’s one of those great advertisements for reducing belly fat on that page. It boasts “10 foods you should never eat!” I’m guessing human flesh isn’t on the list but… does anyone else find this ironic??